Phrases we REALLY see in "car-for-sale" ads...

[patrick66]

No low tires or ball kickers. My cousins' friends' nephews' step-dad knows what I have.

The 7,500# wench on this truck works great. The winch, however, is locked up.

Doesn't run for ****.

Tires? What are those?

Drive it home. On a rollback.

No Title/"Lost" title/No title, but "easy to get"? You get the damned thing, Mister Seller, that is the LAW.

Ran when parked -or- Runs good (and shows an empty engine bay!)

Solid floors - when compared to the Flintstone-mobile, that is.

 

[Fury Pursuit]

Needs restore. ?

Needs restored. ?

Needs painted. ?

Needs to learn how to use English correctly.

 

[JJ300]

Easy fix....

 

[patrick66]

Second owner...not counting the seven flippers, six auctions, four car lots and ten years there has been with between the original owner and the current seller.

1968 Plymouth Road Runner, original owner. The seller is 38 years old. The car is 53. But his dad's dad bought one just like it in 1968.

22K easy miles. How the hell do you know this?

Never driven in the rain...PROVE IT! You've owned it three years, the car is 53 years old.

No tire kickers or test pilots. The tire might blow if you kick it.

Cash-in-hand before you drive it. So, you expect me to carry $30K in cash to your house, next door to the "Little Crackhouse on the Prairie" in 'Hood Central, just to drive your POS? Ain't happinin'!

 

[stubs300]

This should be in the funny's section.

This should cover everything?
Auto Humor: Classified Ad Translator | AUTOMOTIVE MILEPOSTS

 

[King Hooter]

From an ad for a car I'm considering.

needs a tune up some interior work as well as tlc and she will be like new again not in a rush to sell just testing the waters.

Don't you just love the "testing the waters" sellers. Maybe this is why he's had it for sale since Sept.?

 

[68PK21 440.6bbl]

"The price will go up the more I work on it"

 

[MAGNUM77]

I know what I have.

 

[Promiscuitto]

"Ready for restoration"

 

[MetalManiacAZ]

Big one out here in AZ:

"AC just needs to be charged"

 

[ayilar]

Needs restored. ?
Needs painted. ?

Needs to learn how to use English correctly.

That is the correct form in Pittsburgh.

 

[Welder guy]

Numbers matching period correct engine =we threw in an old engine and made it run. How can you have a numbers matching car with a engine it wasn’t born with.

 

[69monaco]

Numbers matching period correct engine =we threw in an old engine and made it run. How can you have a numbers matching car with a engine it wasn’t born with.

Probably they have the orig engine somewhere in the garage......

 

[Xenon]

Or:
My 1965 XXX is all number matching..
Motor, trans, rear all match...

 

[MetalManiacAZ]

Ran into one this morning on offerup for a '67 Crown 'vert:

• 2 shitty off angle pictures of the front
• Description: call for details
• No phone number listed

 

[68PK21 440.6bbl]

Ran into one this morning on offerup for a '67 Crown 'vert:

• 2 shitty off angle pictures of the front
• Description: call for details
• No phone number listed

That's really testing the waters!

 

[MetalManiacAZ]

That's really testing the waters!

No ****! They want us to work for this one. It's at a repair shop in your neck of the woods (relatively) in Lake Park.

 

[shooter65]

That is the correct form in Pittsburgh.

Correction for Pittsburgh, "Needs Restored n'at".

 

[68PK21 440.6bbl]

"No engine/trans. Available or extra fee"

"This was my rat rod project but I got another car so it has to go"

.

 

[Fury Pursuit]

Correction for Pittsburgh, "Needs Restored n'at".

Needs the verb to be.