For Sale Most AWESOME Viper ad ever!

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Old Man with a Hat
Mar 10, 2011
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Sebring, Florida
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2001 Dodge Viper


2001 Dodge Viper For Sale $30k

Okay. Full disclosure. I almost killed myself in it.
It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.
I've driven Ferrari's that don't feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
That's right. It's in my garage and I'm afraid to drive it because it's like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
I've done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
I cannot truly explain it's power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 60mph. That sentence doesn't even make sense. But it's true.
That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? CAN YOU?!
Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that only wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that, except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.

Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It's mentally and psychologically unbalanced. It is a Decepticon.

If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.

The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
"You got this".
"Open me up and ride free, you got this"
"What are you a wussy?"
"Just do it", "Do it", "you got this".

Do not do it. You don't got it. Turns out you ARE in fact a wussy. Because you don't want to die.
You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you. You will park it and it will start its siren call again, tempting you to get into this murder machine.
"You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain't no wussy".

Repeat after me.

I suggest you go hug your wife, forget you ever read this, and go and buy a nice comfy safe Toyota Corolla. Live to be a hundred. Or you can do all the stuff on your bucket list and THEN buy a Viper.

But if you insist, for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.

You were warned. May God have mercy on your soul.

The Viper RT/10 Roadster has a 6-speed transmission! 11400 Super low miles!
2D - Transmission: 6-Spd Manual - Engine: V10, 8.0 Liter - Mileage: 11400 - ExtColor: Black - IntColor: Cognac - Features: Air Conditioning,Power Steering,Power Windows,Tilt Wheel,AM/FM Stereo,CD (Single Disc),ABS (4-Wheel),Leather,Premium Wheels.
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I think I just figured out how I want to go out in a blaze of glory.
Preferably after a cross country blast persued by every law enforcement agency known.
My buddy has one, paid close to $100K and waited almost 1 year for it to be delivered from the factory. He took me for a ride when it was finally delivered...nothing enjoyable about the experience. He's had it for over 5 years and it rarely leaves his garage.
I think I just figured out how I want to go out in a blaze of glory.
Preferably after a cross country blast persued by every law enforcement agency known.

The current model has 145 more HP than the in the ad. I used to drive them as part of my job.

If a person can't enjoy that car, I dunno what to say. There was a woman from Texas in her 70s who took the factory tour. She was wearing 5" heels. The Viper was her only car, and she had purchased several. I'm glad to know there are examples gathering dust in garages, because that means there will be a supply when I decide to buy one at 1/3 price.

That said, when you drive them 8hrs a day, doing WOT accells, they beat the sh*t out of you!

The upside down Daffy Duck emblem.

Came out of our shop but at least it was before we owned it.
They're all hermetically sealed for another two decades where they all emerge as barn finds.
If you substitute Hellcat for Viper in his writeup I would tend to agree. I have driven Vipers here and there and while fun and definitely an enthusiasts car I never got the 40 Pitbulls eating Kittens kinda feeling like I do when 4 barrels on a 440 snap open.
About 5 years ago, before I retired, my responsibilities for the organization I worked for required evaluations of manufacturers' on-board diagnostic system (OBDII) compliance with regulations for a cross section of their cars. My staff chose a Dodge Viper for evaluation one year, and FCA obliged by supplying us with one from production that was randomly chosen. A couple of my best staff (real car guys too) did some of the evaluations, but some of those evaluations required overnight driving so that the monitors for the various emission controls would go through cold start and warm up cycles in order to detect implanted defects on our part. A couple times, some of my wuss staff members who actually drove them overnight asked if they could have someone else drive them overnight in the future, because they were sure they would kill themselves if they did it more than once and in light of the fact they had young families. And they meant it. And one of them did dirt biking in the desert in motocross reacing events on a regular basis. Unfortunately, due to the press of work and deadlines, I never got the chance to even drive the thing, but I wish I had, so I could understand the nature of this evil beast!

The upside down Daffy Duck emblem.

Came out of our shop but at least it was before we owned it.

I think of your emblem business every time I see one!

Funny add, & it's true. I had a Ducati as well, a good comparison. Played with a few Vipers, still play with one. Amazing torque from standstill. At a speed that is insane they will start dancing or breaking traction. You can see why so many have been wrecked. The Viper is a supercar bargain. A modern day AC Cobra. Buy a good one & tuck it away.
It's just a marketing strategy. He's done exactly what he intended, the ad has gone viral with forums and facebook linking back to his ad. National exposure at zero cost.

Absolutely friggin' brilliant.
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