My baby boy is 18

[65sporty]

My youngest turned 18 today, he graduated in June, he was going to go to Lincoln Tech in Indy but now is going to wait until next fall. I am questioning him about what he really wants to do I want what is best for him and I want him to do better than me.

His brother is in his 4 year at school was in athletic training but switched to criminal justice with a minor in chemistry, wants to be in a crime lab. I am just amazed how we could raise 2 boys in the same house and they are both so different.

I am open for suggestions on what to tell my 18 yr old there is a wealth of knowledge here not just all things Mopar. Thanks

Scott

 

[amazinblue82]

congrats .. probably just "yesterday" it seems you held him for the first time yes?

ah, what to tell our kids (my two are 30 and 28 now -- girls). my only "parently" advice on that is this (age 18) about the age when "asking" them things worked better than "telling" them things.

when they attained "age of majority" -- though still "kids" they sometimes don't think they are kids -- if you follow me? I know i knew everything at 18.

truth is we know there's a WORLD of things they have yet to learn .. but they may not think so

So, and as you have done, i just tried to engage in a dialogue and offer my experience and perspective .. whatever the outcome, in the end they knew (know) I am ALWAYS on their side

anyway, i hope he checks in here once and while -- perhaps at your suggestion of stuff you think he might find interesting?

again congrats.

 

[Dobalovr]

Having 2 girls was a little different for me than having a son....of course they would kill me for saying that. If your son liked working with his hands than best advice I would give is get a trade. It's not a long term commitment (4 years) and teaches self reliance and is in demand. If he is an intellectual then he may have to sample a few different areas of interest before he settles into one direction. I see young people everyday who decided to either work first or see the world before committing to secondary education and 4-5 years later that's still what they are doing. My advice for that would be go into one or the other now Lord knows work will still be there in 4 years and the World isn't going anywhere. It's hard to go back to Education after being out in the World I guess is what I'm trying to say. Good Luck to your Son and whatever he decides make sure he gets there in a C Body!!

 

[300rag]

In '72 I took "a year off" after having been accepted for the fall semester . Never went back. Then again, I got my red seal for electrician, and never looked back. Would I have been better off to follow my original course? We'll never know, but I am sure that I wouldn't have had the same experiences I did. Best of luck.

 

[tallhair]

I think, or have read that many folks would be far better off in going into a trade than to school. I know that's the case if they aren't cut out for schoolwork in a traditional setting and there are way too many going to school and getting way into debt.

Studies/facts show that going into a well paying trade puts someone financially further ahead versus pursing traditional universities IF it's a low demand field AND the student has to go way into debt i.e. $25K and more per year to pay for it / live.

 

[CanCritter]

Get a trade.....once he has it if he wants to try something else go for it....if it dosnt work out he's always got the trade to fall back on....best advise l ever got

 

[Fratzog]

Ditto with the trade. Opens a lot of doors. If he likes electrical be sure to pursue Industrial version since that will give him the background in maintaining PLC's and motors that most larger employers are looking for while still maintaining the flexibility of working out of a union hall if he wants to. Same with mechanical since construction millwrights seem to limit their options.

 

[live4theking]

Personally I went to the Air Force four months after graduating. I did 4 years and got out. I didn't go to college till I was 29. By then I knew what I wanted and I was motivated, because I was tired of being paid less because I didn't have a degree. I took classes around the calendar getting a 4 year degree in 2 years and 9 months.

I worked with a youth group for 8 years or so, most of them went to college, a few to the military and even fewer to the work force. There was one young many that absolutely didn't want to go to college much to his mothers dismay. He's worked since he was 16, always had a job and was smart with his money. He's wiling to do most anything. He's currently enrolled and some sort of trade school in his mid to late 20's. It's not the end of the world if he doesn't want to go to school right away.

I'm a big believer in the trades as well. There aren't enough people that can work with there hands any more. This comes from a guy that sits at a desk all day, but likes to wrench and do woodworking. At some point I'm going to get a welder and teach myself how to weld to simply because I want to know how to.

My father always told me to learn everything you can because that is the one thing they can never take from you.

 

[70bigblockdodge]

My mother insisted that I go to college, which I had no interest in so to push back I almost went into the Marines. Talked out of it and into the Navy by a cousin that was a Marine. Navy had lots of tech and mechanical specialty fields, ended up passing the test to get into Nuke power school, which was more school and a uniform so I did not apply myself and in time it caught up with me and just stayed as regular Machinist Mate in regular fleet. So pushing school that you think is best has pitfalls. I have not tried to push cars on my son, but my Charger project has us working together and him helping to provide some youthful energy and keep me moving forward, and some proud moments for me seeing him solve problems and learn a appreciation for the work it takes just to get it up and running. I do not try to recruit or force him to help me with repairs or maintenance on my truck because I do not want him to hate or like it that will be his choice and it will not be the easy way out. It was not his choice to own a truck I can't expect him to get out there and fix or maintain it, he learns from a distance about the truck. My approach is not to force or demand pathways be followed because that can go wrong, but I try to present and encourage looking at different ways to go forward.

I will be in your shoes in a few years.

 

[saylor]

i got a carton of marlboros and kicked out of the house on my 18th birthday . . .

i didnt finish high school, no college, no GED, worked construction, then warehousing, forklift driving, etc.

then one day i got a break - a pressman was absent and they needed a guy to help run a press. i became a press helper. i ran printing presses until i was 30, going from helper all the way up to 8-color presses and lead pressman.

after tapping out the printing trade as far as i could ride it (without going into production management or something) - at 30yrs old, house, kids, wife, payments, etc, etc. - i quit work, took a $ loan out, and went to school full time for computer training.

i have never looked back - 16yrs later still working in the computer field.

if your kid likes hand work or skilled work - a trade is great.

if your kid is into computers/code/etc - there is good money in computers/ IT work.

at 18 years old - i had 125% no idea what i was gonna do with my life.

as long as he gets up and goes to work, or school, doesnt sleep til noon and party til 4am every day, just gets up and applies himself to SOMETHING every day - you have already succeeded far more than you could ever hope

- saylor

 

[72Fury]

Get a trade.....once he has it if he wants to try something else go for it....if it dosnt work out he's always got the trade to fall back on....best advise l ever got

You'll never be hungry.

Just a few thoughts.
I guess there is 4 options & sitting around on the xbox is not one of them.
1) get a job
2) go to college
3) go to a trade school. Mike Rowe (eBay sells it) from Dirty Jobs has a good book on this about working smarter AND harder.
4) Military

Short term, have him write down goals on a piece of paper. Sounds stupid & non productive at first. Anything goes. I want to go to Europe, I want a nice house, a Hellcat, etc. Then write down a timeline to achieve that. That's the difference between a dream and a goal, a timeline. Something wonderful happens when you look at that paper. I still do it and have since I was in my early 20's. Some of my original goals were now comical, but that's part of the fun.

If there is anyone that you can find, that is doing whatever career that he is remotely interested in, have them spend a few moments talking to him. He is more likely to listen to someone else talk than his own father. I had a Vietnam vet talk to me and he told me to always have a back up plan. Sure...Ok...My Dad ask "Did he tell you about being a tunnel rat? " A back up plan suddenly took on a more important priority in my mind.

 

[70_NPORT]

Id say just make sure your there for them no matter what...and dont be immediately judgemental...keep an open mind.
After HS graduation my dad said go to school, or get a job, or get out (of the house, that is). Didnt know whut i wanted to so I enrolled in a local trade school for a year, just so I could have somewhere to live (but they made pay rent!!). The good thing is the trade school became a launch pad for undergrad and then grad school. So there was wisdom in those demands (still ticked about the rent though).

 

[1978 NYB]

I enlisted in the Army late. I was 21 in 1976. My intent was to do 3 years and get out. I kind of enjoyed being in the 3rd Armored Calvary Regiment and 20 years later retired from the Army. Best thing I ever did. 15.5 years out of 20 years overseas. I've seen the world....